Vote for the Time Machine!

The Conservative time machine!The Harper time machine will send you sixty years into the past!

Don’t miss your chance to live in Conservatopia, a perfectly ordered society where scientific evidence is scorned in favor of “gut-feelings” and astrologists. Oh, is it “ideologists”?

On a score of subjects, like gun control, census and sensibilities, environmental protection, women’s rights, gay rights, crime and punishment, our thinking will be modeled by ideologists, printed and repeated by the monopolistic mediasphere.

By the same token, the no-longer-protected workers-on-call will learn to admire without reserve the knights of the industrial table.  This table will be well-laden, since bail-outs and hefty subsidizing will be  granted to banks and oil industries. What will be left of the governing body will heed their sunny voices.

Soon, the only remnant of the social net will be gushing charity balls held by big fortunes while putting some dough in fiscal paradises. And, of course, the “economy” will make sure that there will be an endless supply of poor in need of generous donators. As for those pesky artists, only the popular ones will rise to the top, and to hell with the others “elites” who will have to scratch a living in restaurants or call centers!  (But the financial elites are OK, since they can silence their opposition with lawsuits).

Criminals will be seen as annoying weeds, always growing in underprivileged neighborhoods for no understandable cause. First Nations will not see many differences between now and the 1950s. They will continue to be left dependent and despondent, deprived of their pride and clean water, their shattered communities serving as moral ground for our own prosperity.

In Conservatopia, you will see the women’s back to their right place, embracing the family values of the fifties!

Their rights will never be directly attacked, of course: only slowly, very slowly eroded, any attempt to take their life into their own hands subtly discouraged, their associations deprived of subsidized resources, any girl pressured with beauty advices and strings ads, any job-family conciliation becoming a headache, until the only place left for them will be the relative safety of their homes and hearth (preferably with a loaded gun, beware of the criminals roaming free!)

As contraception fall out of favor in the religious abstinence virtue contest, more unwanted pregnancies will follow, where girls and women will have no choice but to endure their situation or flee or die (like in the Third-world countries.

With the power of monopolized media, citizens… no, tax-payers will learn to distrust their elected representatives (them lazy civil servants gobbling our hard-earned money!), unions and various social defense groups (them lazy artists!). Soon, the more gullible among us will clamor for a benevolent but firm dictator with a pretty haircut.

But no mustache.

Time travel towards the glorious privatized future!

When voting for the Time Machine, you will also have a peek to a glorious future! As the governing body dwindles and greater fortunes concentrates in fewer hands, the permeability between businesses and the benevolent dictator will increase. Delocalization of jobs will occur more and more. Educated homeless will become a frequent sight on our streets.

The fortunes will tighten their golden hold on the mediasphere, showcasing only the items that serve the business growth. All social and cultural needs will be provided by the private-for-profit sector. The population will also rely on them for their information sources (crime is rampant! be afraid, lock your door, grab your gun, and give to charities!)  Other voices, deprived of money, will dwindle out and die. Citizens will have freedom of speech, but without power to change anything to their condition.

While this election is officially about economy, let me remind you that a certain amount of criminality is a good thing for the GNP (Gross National Product). Crime ensures an excellent living for greedy gang bosses, but also for their lawyers, clerks, justices, prison guards, police, journalists, all with our taxes. And some social workers would like to go to the roots of this useful evil?

Private prisons will grow like mushrooms over the country, and – low and behold! – get quickly filled. This same private sector will devise new ways of watching people.  Big Brother not only will tap your computer (already does !) but He will make sure to present you with pre-approved choices. (You want your car red or black? No, we don’t carry electric cars, sorry Ma’am!)

As social groups, universities science faculties, unions, associations, artists will be left without subsidies or research grants, prejudice will reign unchallenged. Government will be redeemable only to the real powerful forces in the population: big companies. Only those have the resources to underwrite the scores of “Institutes” parroting their concerns.

You miss the Soviet era? The apparatchiks? The silencing of opposition voices?

Choose the Time Machine!

Welcome to Conservatopia !

Mashup of Conservative Party of Canada logo with Borg Insignia, by Kenneth M. Kambara

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2 responses to “Vote for the Time Machine!

  1. Am I to guess you’re not voting for Harper today? 😛 Good post. Thanks for sharing. Now we just have to wait a good 12 hours to see the results… have a great day!

    Like

  2. Sunday Artist

    Now, we all live in Conservatopia. I would have preferred a yellow submarine, but…

    Like

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